


Ha Ha Are These Videos or PTSD Flashbacks

by FaeCourtier



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Little bit angsty, Talk about war, but in a 'gets you thinking' sort of way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 05:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10713186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeCourtier/pseuds/FaeCourtier
Summary: Hana reflects on events that have led to where she is now. She considers the dangers of her job, and is willing to pay the cost of a future.





	Ha Ha Are These Videos or PTSD Flashbacks

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of silly stuff with D.Va out there, but I wanted to look into her inner thoughts a little more and get a better feel for her character.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and if you have any thoughts on her characterization, I'd love to hear!

Hana leaned back in her office chair as her eyes kept pace with the screen in front of her. She held onto her mug of tea with both hands. The flashes of light and changing colors spread through the dim bedroom. On screen, the view of a battlefield in seeming chaos showed. The stream was one of her own. It had taken place just a couple of weeks prior. It had been a surprise attack, but with the well-run base in Busan they had been able to react quickly. 

There weren’t very many attacks of late, but with the time Hana had gained experience from already, she didn’t feel ease about it. It felt like the calm before a storm. 

Her eyes flicked back to the comments on the video, appearing when they did during the stream. They were mostly simple and positive, as usual. “Good luck, D.Va!” and “Great shot!” and encouraging phrases, with only the occasional hater criticizing or troll claiming aimbotting. On screen, the giant leg of an omnic came down from the left corner of the screen. The screen shot forward as D.Va had boosted to escape imminent collision. D.Va had boosted forward, and Hana was now as she relived it. It hadn’t been fast enough.

The desktop computer portrayed a lurch to the side as the leg clipped against her Meka. It had been a close call. Hana remembered the instant dropping feeling in her chest and took a sip of warm tea to quench the feeling from having a second appearance. On the chat, a message popped up “I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER!” It caught Hana’s eye. With the mech still flying on screen, she watched the comment as it traveled up and was pushed out of sight by the newer messages. 

At that moment in the battle, Hana had thought the same thing. It would only take one mistake. One bad move, one moment she didn’t have a good grasp on her surroundings. Any mistake could be the one. But she would never say that to anyone.

Memories nodded back to the beginning of the year, as she and her squadron stood on a stage after a short medal ceremony and the journalists present asked questions. A man in thin glasses and a tie a little too short for him asked her what kept her going in these battles. She had an answer ready to fly off her tongue immediately. 

‘My fans keep me going!’ she’d smiled, ‘they are always there to support me! If we continue to fight together, I just know we can win!’ 

What she hadn’t mentioned was the deep love for her country as it had once been. A childhood of living through crises left a sense of wonder regarding the happier times of history. She wanted to taste that peace. She wanted her people to. And that was something she was scared of, that they wouldn’t be able to. That the attacks would never end. But the audience was watching her, just as they always were, with cameras and pens ready. And she couldn’t tell them, just as always, how scared she was for the future. She was D.Va. She was their star. She was a champion of hope, and if she became scared, then surely the reporters, her fans, and her fellow citizens, would be scared too. 

They needed to hope. They needed to believe in a better future together. She needed to continue to let them believe that things might get better. She needed to play that role. 

And the online time she spent with fans continued. And the livestreams during battles continued. The livestreams… There had been some fuss within the military as she had started, debates whether her livestreams should be allowed or not. But with each battle that was won, those watching and wishing from afar felt a little bit safer as though a little more control had come back into their world. The livestreams were a great success. In a way, they were helpful for Hana in battle too. She wasn’t completely alone. There were thousands within her Meka all fighting for the same dreams. 

There were still some discussions within the higher ranks as to allowing the streams. It would only take one bad enough mistake for a stream to show something terrible. The death of a champion would cause a wave of grief across the country, and the world. It would make people lose hope. She didn’t want that to happen. She had reconsidered her stance on the livestreams too, but felt urged to keep them. Not just for the audience, but for herself as well. Even if she did go down in a fight, she wanted it to be seen. Perhaps more importantly, she wanted it to be recorded to be seen in the future, whatever sort of future that may be. The people of the future needed to remember everything, not just the triumphs. And more selfishly, if she had to go sooner than she wanted, she wanted to be with all her support when it happened. She wanted to be remembered. Even in her last moments, she wanted them all to be there in the Meka with her. After all, she was doing this for them. She was doing this for everyone.


End file.
